Lately, I’ve been a little stressed out with all that is going on in my life… so I thought it might be wise to take pause and try to put things into perspective. The days are flying by in a blur of diapers, baking and homework, but I am almost sure I CHOSE all of this. So let’s break it down:
1) My 16 month old son, Ryker, does not have an off switch!
Since my exercise regime consistents exclusively of running after him and saving him from cracking his head open like an egg, I suppose I should be grateful that he’s constantly on the go. I haven’t had to do any crazy dieting, obsessive exercising or anything and I’m able to maintain my slender figure. Plus, those smiles, giggles, hugs and kisses make the 4-6 hours of sleep I get at night worth it.
2) I’m spending 8 hours of my day at school instead of at home with my family.
School is tough, I won’t down play that. But, hello! I’m in culinary school. Has this NOT been my dream since highschool? Haven’t I thought to myself more then once “In a dream world, I would go to culinary school” ? This means that I am living my dream! No one said that persuing one’s dreams is easy, but if I’m lucky enough to be persuing them before retirement… maybe I should just shut my mouth, smile and thank God for the blessing he’s given to me. Besides, after school I am going to be able to spend more time with my guys again, PLUS we will have a little more fun because we won't be worried about finances as much.
3) I am extremely torn between getting pregnant and persuing some other things that would work best if I wait until year or so to have another child.
I am nearing the age I had always considered to be the cut off for having children, but maybe I just need to rethink that deadline. There is no magical age at which I will no longer produce strong, healthy, happy babies... right? This sounds like something I need to release to God. I am a superstar at worrying about things beyond my control, and I'll throw it out there that this is one of them. His plan for me is really what I should focus on, and what comes next will be wonderful and blessed. So, pry my white knuckled hands off this issue and have a little pow wow with the Lord.
Wow, when I just lay it out on the table, I can see that things aren't quite as dark as I once thought. Maybe I am not in love with every aspect of my life at this moment, but I am always working for the greater good. I just need to remember that there are ups and downs in this journey and I will survive them all.
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