My Positive Pink Piggy

I brought a new friend home with me today... I've been eyeballing her in the store for months now but didn't have the confidence to walk right up, introduce myself and invite her home. 'Why should I be so confident?', I thought. 'You'll just be setting yourself up for disappointment.' So I left her on the shelf, day after day, telling myself I didn't deserve her.

But today is the day! Today I decided to STOP listening to that self-saboteur living in my head, marched right over to the shelf and picked up my newest friend... my "Nationals" piggy bank! That's right, this darling little pink piggy bank is my first step in believing in my goal of being crowned Mrs Oregon 2011. Lenny and I have agreed that each pay period we will invest in this goal by feeding my pink piggy a predetermined amount of money. I still slightly shudder at the thought of planning that far ahead for something that is definitely not a sure thing, but after a long talk with myself, I have to admit that it's a positive thing to do.

I recently read a short entry entitled "You Will Become What You Believe You Are", by Delton Doucet and a quote stood up off of the page. It said "If you ever do anything yourself and nothing else, please allow yourself to believe in you." Ouch... I will be the first to say that I DO NOT like to believe in myself. Not that I don't think I am capable of great things... I just find there to be a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I am terrified to cross over to the dark side. Entitlement and cockiness do not look good on anyone, no matter how wonderful they are at something. So, to make sure I never reach the danger zone, I have become my harshest critic. Nothing I can do will ever be good enough for... well, myself. Just listen to me talk about my cake creations and you'll get the picture real quick! So, when it came to thinking about saving money for the possibility that I will be attending the Mrs America 2011 pageant in April, I dutifully made out a list of reasons I would NOT be attending the pageant, and accompanied it with a lecture on the naughtiness of such over-confidence. It was as though the simple idea of preparing for the future meant I assumed I'd be crowned Mrs Oregon. That is something I would never do, therefore having the piggy bank was ridiculous as well.

Believe it or not, I'm sort of getting tired of my position as head critic. It's exhausting to spend so much time finding all things wrong with myself. But can I undo all this training? This piggy bank is the first step. I am going to believe in myself and my abilities. I am going to allow myself to give 100% in the pursuit of this goal and spend more time thinking about how to succeed instead of how I will fail. I will chant 'See the crown, want the crown, be the crown...' OK, I will NOT do that. :) But I will tell myself that I can accomplish what I put my mind to. I may not win, but I will perform to the best of my abilities and leave no room for regret. And my hubby put it so concisely - "We will need the money if you win, but we will need the money for something else if you don't... so what is the harm in saving money?" Leave it to a man to see things so logically. My piggy bank will be useful no matter what... but right now, it's helping me focus on positive thoughts. That is one powerful pink piggy!

All American Girl Pageant Weekend

If the thought of spending a 4 day weekend with some of the most adorable little ladies and some of the most outstanding young women makes you want to throw on pink and party, then this post is for you! I was fortunate enough to be the Head Judge for the National All American Girl Pageant held right here in my hometown, Portland, Oregon. Tracy and Lisa, the Directors of this fast-growing pageant, invited me to represent my title as Mrs Portland and to be a part of this great event. I moved into the Holiday Inn Hotel by the airport on Thursday, August 12th and settled in for what was bound to be an enlightening weekend. Little did I know...

The All American Girl Pageant is an all natural pageant for girls ages 0 - 21. They promote family friendly pageantry and the all natural idea of beauty. These 2 ideas are what really drew me to participate in this event. If you've ever watched "Toddlers and Tiaras" (admit it, you have), you have seen just how insane pageants for young children can get. Little girls all dressed up to look like mini adults, fake eyelashes and all. That is the style of pageants I try to steer clear of. If you choose to become a contestant with the AAG Pageant, girls under 10 cannot wear any makeup and older girls are allowed only a little. Nothing false is allowed and clothes need to be realistic for the age group, in appearance and price.

I left for the hotel slightly apprehensive... my pageant experience is minimal at best, and I've only been on the contestant side of things. Was I really qualified to judge? I wasn't going to get much time to warm up to the idea of being a judge either, because things were set to roll as soon as we arrived. Interviews on Thursday afternoon, banquet in the evening. With a little help and support from my own pageant director, Libby, I walked into the interview and claimed my table, armed with my little notebook stocked with "thought provoking" questions I was sure would make me appear to be a serious judge. Then, the first contestants toddled in... seriously, toddled. 0-2 years old, the Baby Miss division stopped by each of our tables so we could ooohhh and aaahhh at them, then they all played together so we could see how they interacted with others. I was smitten! They were just so darn cute! And the girls got cuter and more charming as the ages went up. At one point, I found myself involved in what felt like an adult conversation with a 5 year old! My questions went out the window and I just chatted it up with the girls all afternoon. At dinner that night, I got to socialize a little more and meet some parents.

Friday was casual wear and personal introduction day. Each girl dressed in their casual wear of choice and came out to present themselves. They each had a little intro that told us about their state, their interests and their goals. It was great to see the amazing stage presence of all these ladies. Saturday was party wear, so imagine lots of poofy dresses. Both evenings held parties for the contestants, families and staff to enjoy, with themes like "Red, White and Blue" and "The Pink Party". We danced, did the limbo, hula hooped... and ate enough sugar to require an entire mouth of fillings... I had such a good time!

Then came Sunday... dreaded Sunday. All games aside, it was time. Finals were in the afternoon and Vickie, Stacy and I had to make our decisions. As head judge, I spent the entire morning organizing head shots, writing out different lists of awards, double checking all our work. We wanted to head into finals with a good idea of what we needed to see to make all our final decisions. The girls gave it their best one more time and we were wowed... as we headed up to the suite to finish making all our choices, we jokingly threatened not to come back because we didn't want to be forced to make a decision. Up until then, we had really been enjoying ourselves, but we were all nervously eating chips and avoiding all eye contact. The awards were announced, the winners were crowned and the night came to an end. As we surveyed the stage, we silently nodded at each other, knowing we had made good choices and that we didn't regret the outcome. That's a good thing, right?

It was definitely a VERY emotional weekend, but I would say that all the good times outweighed the tears that were spilled at the end (both by the contestants AND judges). It was such a self-esteem building experience for the girls, who made a ton of new friends and, more importantly, made some outstanding memories with their families. And for me... well, I don't know how judges can do this. I enjoyed meeting the girls and watching them shine, but I saw first hand the hard lesson that only one person can win at the end of the day, and you have to be willing to reach over and offer a hug of congratulations to your friend as she receives the crown you had wanted so badly. I hope that as I near the day I will, once again, be back on the contestant side of this lesson, I will remember how important it is for me to support and uplift my fellow pageant sisters... and I hope that if I am not crowned the next Mrs Oregon, I will be gracious, understanding and ready to celebrate my new friend's success. Looks like humility is yet another quality offered through pageantry.

The Choices of a Mom

It is already August, and I count almost 2 months since I finished my externship at Ten01. Since then, I've applied for several pastry kitchen positions, getting a couple of call backs but nothing that has manifested into anything. It seems like Portland is turning out a lot more culinary graduates then there are positions available. Initially, this didn't really bother me. I was excited to be home with Ryker again, (I feel like caring for him is my first calling), and to be out of the craziness of the workplace. I have been spending some of the most beautiful days Portland has to offer roaming the streets of the city with my little man, taking in the sites, farmer's markets and playgrounds. Heaven! This could go on forever, as far as I'm concerned.

Then, reality set in and the fact that we could really use my help, financially, could no longer be ignored. So what did I do? I fell back on the one skill I seem to always fall back on when I'm in a crunch for employment... cake decorating. Once again, you can find me in the bakery playing with cake and frosting, and piping my day away. I suppose this is an acceptable vocation... it pays well, it offers a flexible schedule and I do enjoy it. till, I can't seem to shake a certain feeling... like maybe I've sold out. I worked really hard in culinary school & thought I had found my calling in the restaurant biz. So why am I spinning a turn table again? I think I need to take some time to look at what I'm really trying to get out of life. I know I chose to decorate again because it was something I'm comfortable with and it allows me to stay home with Ryker. These desires seem to over shadow my desire to get into the pastry industry right now. My question for myself is- am I ok with that? Do I mind putting that desire on the back burner while I pursue other goals (ie. being a stay at home mom)? It's a tough call, and you can bet my natural tendency towards guilt of under achieving is kicking in big time!

Summer time, and the living is easy...

Yay!!! It's finally summer here is Portland! Officially (says so on the calender) and physical- the sun is out and is beautiful outside. Not a day too soon, I have to say. If we had one more weekend of horrible weather, I was going to file an official complaint with... well, I'm not exactly sure with whom, but you can bet I would have found someone. No need, though, because it's gorgeous out there. :D

So much has been going on, I feel like I left this blog behind a little bit. No worries, I'm here now to catch it up. I have finished my time at Ten01 and am back to being a full time mommy to Ryker. I have to say, I'm loving it! I haven't been home with him since early December, and I was really missing it. My little man is growing up so quickly and learns new things almost instantly. I do not want to miss a single second of that. To prove my point, he managed to learn a new word yesterday- "Crappy". Yes, you read that right. It was all mommy's fault too! He seriously learns new words from hearing them one time... a lesson I'm learning the hard way. From now on, everyone has to be VERY carefully what we say around him. At least when he says things like that, it's super cute!

I have been busy as Mrs Portland as well. I'm still training with the amazing Zach and Marie as Saturn Styles Studio, and it's still kicking my bum. But in the best way possible. I have definition in my legs and arms that I've never seen before! It's awesome and totally inspiring. I'm also coming along with my self-confidence. I actually told my husband I thought I looked pretty good in a pair of pants yesterday. That's a HUGE step for me! They work miracles, let me tell you.

This past weekend I was able to make 2 appearances. The first one was in Lincoln City at the Summer Kite Festival. If you are in Oregon and you haven't gone to the event yet, you have got to make time. It was a beautiful day at the beach and there are hundreds of kites flying in the sky. Huge kites mounted in the sand, trick kites that are flown to music and hand made kites made by the little tikes and yours truly. I joined my fellow Mrs Washington Co contestant, Jen Moser and Amy Pluedeman, Oregon's 30's Beauty of America at the kite making table. We spent the afternoon helping the little ones color and make kites to fly in the festival. I was overwhelmed with the reception we got from Lincoln city! They introduced us to the crowd, the kids and parents were excited to see us, taking pics and wanting autographs... it was wonderful. We even raced in a "celebrity" bowl kite race (think strapping on a parachute in the wind and running across the sand.) We had such a great time and I really want to thank Maggie for allowing us to come and share in their community fun.

That same evening I joined the Oaky Doaks Square Dancing Club at the OC Relay for Life at Clackamas Community College. This relay is a fundraiser for cancer treatment through the American Cancer Association. This is a cause that is near and dear to my heart, as you have seen in my previous post about Sallie, my niece. Also, my grandfather on my dad's side past away from cancer, my grandfather on my mom's side has been treated for cancer, and my husband's mother passed 2 years ago from cancer. I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn't been effected somehow by this disease. I enjoyed hearing the stories of the survivors and watching the determination of the families who were remembering lost loved ones. It is a heartwarming event and one that I hope to be able to be involved in for many years to come.

Well, I think you can consider yourself officially up-to-date on what's happening here. Just to let you know, upcoming events include the Mrs Portland Garage Sale and Bake Sale on July 9-10th. Have a great weekend and get out their and get some sun!

Closing Up Rose Festival

This last week found me at 2 events for the Rose Festival: The Fred Meyer Junior Parade and the Grand Floral Parade. I got to see both sides of a parade this week, being behind the scenes for one and as a participant of the other. Both were awesome, but boy oh boy does Portland weather know how to throw a curve ball. It's the middle of June so one should be able to count on tepid weather at the very least. However, Wednesday, June 9th was no such day.

I was a judge for the Fred Meyer Junior Parade that took place down Sandy Blvd on June 9th. This is a parade that requires all their participants be under the age 18 (with adult chaperons, of course!) Pretty much, it's a parade for kids by kids. What a great idea! As I headed down to the staging area in my white pants, shoes and no umbrella, a monsoon hits NE Portland. I wish I was joking! Sideways rain fell in bucket loads, winds howled... I thought for sure that I'd make it to the starting line tent only to be told that the parade was off. When I did arrive, I was the spitting image of a drowned rat. Very queen-like, I can assure you. But God had blessings arranged for us, for that was the only downpour for the rest of the parade. I shock off the best I could, got my clipboard and judging partner and headed to my area "Major Floats". After going over 8 or 9 entries, we awarded a 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize, followed by a Sweepstakes winner that won the privilege of leading out the floats.

This years winner was the 4th grade class from Beverly Clearly Elementary school. They had spent 6 weeks learning about the Oregon Trail, then separated into "families", each building a wagon and filling it with things they had learned the settlers used on their journey. Not only were the details just amazing, but this had to have been the most well-behaved group of 30+ children I've ever seen. Congratulations to the students and teachers for this wonderful project.

These boys look less then thrilled to be having their picture taken with me. :D

After the awards were given out, I worked with several volunteers and our coordinator, Sallie, to get the parade in order and on the road. NOT and easy task, I assure you. Thankfully, all we saw was a little drizzle here and there, allowing for another successful Junior Parade.

Parade 2 of the week: The Grand Floral Parade.

A reunion of the Starlight Parade, if you will. Once again, Joy and I, along with Miss Multnomah Co and Portland's Outstanding Teen were the banner holders for the One More Time Around Again Marching Band. We arrive early to the staging area, so we were able to check out the beautiful vehicles in the "Convertible Club", and were lucky enough to get some pictures with a few of them. Between the spirit of the day and the bright, warm sunshine... I don't know. People just seemed really happy to be together. We met so many new people and were met with smile after smile. The parade route was absolutely packed with waving spectators. Cameras were flashing, hands were waving, cheers were going off left and right. Again, if I ever need a reminder of how lucky I am to be able to be a part of this celebration, I get them in days like today. We march with the most beloved band in the parade- and these people know how to have a good time.

We are saying goodbye to our Rose Festival for the year. I am thankful for all the fun and great memories it provided me and I hope I am able to return next year to add to the scrapbook. Maybe with a different title??? :D We'll see.

Mrs Portland at Full Speed!

It was the first SUNNY day in June, and what better way to spend it then with my pageant family. Beautiful weather, beautiful ladies and beautiful memories. The following may sound like a whirlwind of activity and WAY too much to pack into one day, but I am being honest when I say it was truly the best day of appearances I have ever experienced.

We started at Oaks Park. They were celebrating their 105th birthday, and to commemorate the day they had renovated their original carousel. We joined Drew Craney from channel 8 to reveal the new animals on the carousel and ride with the birthday kids at the park. The crowd was so receptive and cheered for us as we were introduced. Then, the kids rode the animals with us and had a GREAT time. Last, but not least, we handed out hundreds of balloons... and I'm not exaggerating. Hundreds... A BIG thanks to Marybeth, our outstanding coordinator. She is an amazing lady.

Next, Joy (Mrs Oregon 2010) and I took off to the Canadian Naval Ship- The Vancouver- to help with the private reception they were hosting. We spent the beginning checking in the guests, then we were able to go on board and mingle. Our gracious hosts took us on a private tour- a perk of being part of the pageant family! What great guys! Thank you, Gentlemen, for all your hospitality, but more importantly... thank you so much for all you have done for our country.

Around 7:15, we walked up to 9th and Burnside to meet our friends, the "One More Time Around Again Band". Joy and I were the banner holders for them in the Starlight Parade. They always show us a good time, and this was no exception. At one point, 2 trumpet players ran up and handed us their trumpets so they could dance around with the banner. The firemen who were placed in front of us tossed us around in the rescue net! We waved to the excited crowd and just smiled from ear to ear. How could we not... we were part of an amazing day here in Portland.

Again, I am reminded of just how truly blessed I am. I am part of a loving family that supports me on days like this... when I'm gone from 1:00pm to 11:00pm...when my husband has to meet me somewhere randomly downtown to pick up my purse so I don't have to carry it during the parade... when my fellow pageant sister lets me use her cell phone 20 times because my phone was in my purse...when my parents bring my son down to the parade at 9pm to see his mommy marching...I have a sweet, sweet life!

It's Rose Festival Time

If the rain didn't tip you off... it's Rose Festival time here in Portland!!! One of the great times of the year when our city unites to put on parades, river events and great family fun. Despite the liquid sunshine, there is so much to do during the next month- you don't have an excuse to be bored. :)

To kick off this year's festivities with my fellow Mrs Oregon contestants, we spent last night at the Wardroom Reception at Venue 126. This was an event for the Naval Officers who come in each year on their ships up the Willamette. We all met for dinner before hand at Bistro Montage (and yes, we indulged in the Mac & Cheese!), which I would almost be willing to put out there as my favorite part of the evening. As we are all scattered across Oregon, events like these are the only times we have to get to know each other. being surrounded by the great ambiance of Montage, the delicious food and the beautiful women... it was a recipe for good times. After dinner, we drove over to the reception where we got to mingle with the officers and tell them all about the virtues of our gorgeous state. We were part conversationalist and part city maps! It was great to hear where all of them are from and to be able to thank them for their service to our country.

Like I said, this month is just brimming with activities around town. I will keep you posted about where to find us. Here's a little rundown so far:

Saturday, June 5th- 2pm: Oaks Park 105th Birthday and Carousal Revealing
                              4pm: Greeting on the Naval Ships Downtown
                              7pm: Starlight Parade- Carrying the One More Time Around Again Banner

Wednesday, June 9th- 11am: Judging the Fred Meyer Junior Parade

Saturday, June 12th- 8am: The Rose Festival Parade

And YES! That's all in just the next 2 weeks. : D